The trouble with vampires is people shouldn’t be allowed to dress up as them. Or talk about them. Or even think about them, especially at Halloween. Vampires can be terrifying at Halloween. So can all the other Halloween Scary things. Not that anything scares me or anything. It’s just that when people like jack Beechwhistle keep talking about scary stuff at school ALL THE TIME, including vampires, then after a while, things can get a bit scary-ish. Nothing scares me most of the time, at least not during the daytime. Vampires don’t scare me in the day; zombies don’t scare me in the day, ghosts, werewolves, or even the hooley-hooley man. They did scare me a little bit on Halloween night, but that was different because Halloween night is the scariest night in the world, especially if you go trick-or-treating for the first time with an actual vampire who isn’t a real vampire. Still, you think she is because she told you she is, but then she tells you she isn’t by then, you’ve already decided she is because grown-ups aren’t meant to tell fibs or even say the world vampire, especially if you haven’t been trick-or-treating before. WHICH ISN’T MY FAULT