Your body is incredible, but it’s also out to destroy you. Your brain is like an early computer operating system, riddled with bad code, slow to load, and more likely to watch cat memes than go to sleep. You’d be a mess without your skeleton, but it can be a bony cage if you’re tortured by backaches, niggling neck pain, and knee joints that crumble under pressure. And your nose is a design disaster, getting blocked, springing leaks, and growing random tufts of hair.

You are the sum total of a lot of mistakes, trials, and errors, and you have to learn to live with them as best you can. That’s where this book comes in. Here’s everything you need to know to slow the inevitable decay that’s plagued your body from the moment of your birth.
You will:

• Enjoy the most epic and efficient dump of your existence
• Optimize brain efficiency by putting an end to multitasking
• Give your breath a sniff test to assess your health
• Start treating your eye socket dumplings with the respect they deserve

Here’s how to keep all your organs living in peaceful harmony so that you can enjoy a better, longer, healthier life.